“It is in giving that we receive”

One crisp April evening earlier this year, at the usual Sant’Egidio round of friendship at Westminster Cathedral, our group met a woman with a three-year-old daughter. She was an Eritrean refugee recently arrived in London with nowhere to stay and no one to turn to. Let’s call her Victoria and her daughter Faith for anonymity. Victoria spoke very little English, just enough to communicate the precariousness of her situation. Faith was a genuine bundle of joy. She was laughing and playing with members of the Community from the moment we first met her.

Not willing to leave a mother and child on the harsh London streets, various Sant’Egidio members came together to help Victoria find some semblance of stability and to remind her that she is not alone. As a community member, it was beautiful to see this coming together of people to support someone they had just met, and I was reminded that Sant’Egidio is truly a community where no person has to work alone. I was honoured to be a part of this group, and so I began to get to know Victoria by sitting with her while we waited for her housing situation to be resolved.

I began to get to know her by sitting with her while we waited for her housing situation to be resolved.

As is so often the case in Sant’Egidio and in life, I set out to give my time, and I received so much more in return. In sitting with Victoria in her moment of need, I wasn’t able to fix anything for her, but I was able to be present to her. We couldn’t talk much due to the language barrier, so often we just sat and watched Faith play. Later in the night, as Faith slept in her mother’s arms, we watched the city pass by as we kept calling resource centres to find a room for the night. Eventually, after a couple of days of pushing, Victoria and Faith were settled somewhere by the city council, and the Community continued to come together, helping her with various aid applications and connecting her to resources.

Being with Victoria that night was the start of a beautiful friendship. Although I often felt like I should have been doing more, she reminded me that sitting with someone during suffering is also a gift. Mother Mary teaches us this lesson from the foot of the cross. She doesn’t stop the crucifixion of Jesus, but she does not leave Him alone. We are often called to stand by our brothers and sisters in this same way. Since those first few weeks with Victoria, my visits to her are less about helping with paperwork and more about enjoying each other’s company and playing with Faith. While we still don’t speak the same language, we can communicate perfectly well through smiles, time spent together, and the joy of watching Faith settle into her new surroundings.

A friendship that came from a place that I least expected it.

Ours is a friendship that came from a place that I least expected it. While sharing a cup of tea, it is so easy to see that even in our differences, we are still connected by the things that make us human: love, presence, and openness. Victoria has been a blessing in my life in ways that I could not have imagined five months ago. When I visit her, I am constantly reminded of how strong she is to have travelled so far in uncertainty and of how much of a gift it is to connect with someone whose life has looked so different from my own.

Being with Victoria has reminded me to prioritise the important things in life: to be with the ones you love and to step outside of yourself to encounter those around you. So much good came into my own life by being willing to help and listen. Our friendship has convicted me of the generosity of God and of the truth spoken by St. Francis of Assisi, “it is in giving that we receive”.